Some mixed feelings and new bank accounts

Spending Report
Sunday
-46.72- Groceries-Food Lion
-22.52-Prescription
44.51-Sallie Mae payment
44.00-Polish life insurance

Monday
8.50-Stamps
6.75 Chipotle Chicken burrito


I've been feeling apathetic all day. I guess it didn't help that I woke up late- 7:23 this morning but I was able to shower, get dressed, make my french vanilla coffee, throw on some makeup, and make my lunch and leave my apartment by 7:48 and pull into work at 8:00 am exactly. I even ran out of my car and dropped the mail into the complex's mailbox. Thank God I only live about 5 miles from work.

Work went fine today but kind of slow and the pounding headache that I had all day didn't help. I was really starting to feel down on myself. I have a college degree, an honors paralegal certificate and I'm earning 9 dollars an hour. It feels embarrassing to me. I am so grateful for this job-I am, but I get a little jealous when I see that a lot of my friends are teachers. I mean 40-50,000? That is a lot of money no matter any argument a person might say about teachers not making enough. You want to see teachers not making any money-try working for a private catholic school. Sorry...done with the rant. My mom works for a private school and makes almost nothing as a teacher's aid and head of the school's daycare program. But...I digress.

I honestly hope if they decide to hire me after the temp period ends that I will get at least somewhat of an increase. Even 10 an hour would be better than 9. Anyway, for some reason the attorney and the loan processor both asked me if I was bored today and if I was enjoying working there. Now, trust me, I am an extremely good worker-if I am to toot my own horn, and I never have an attitude or act bored. I'm always smiling at work. I think that they knew that it just seemed like a slow day today. However, them saying that made me start questioning things. Am I happy there? Yes. Is this really what I wanted to do with my life? No, not really. Do I still want to work there if I get officially hired and get a pay increase. Yes.

I guess that I just want to be used to my full potential. I don't want to feel like I wasted my education when I worked so incredibly hard for it. Hopefully I will be given some more responsibility as time goes on.

Ok well let's continue with my day. The rest of the day went well minus the pounding pulsing headache and my stomach killing me. I had gone to the gym on Saturday and attempted some situps and goodness were my abs sore like cringing in pain sore. I left work around 4:15 in order to get a new bank account at a local bank. The firm uses this bank for its accounts so I felt secure going there. I definitely got hooked up with the deluxe package by using the attorney as a referral. That was nice. The only thing that I'm worried about is that they deposited over 400 dollars into my new checking account and only 100 is showing up online when I looked tonight. Maybe the checks are pending? If it isn't resolved tomorrow then the bank is getting a call. I'm not about to lose over a weeks worth of pay. Wow..how sad is that...after taxes right now I'm only making 306 a week. This will have to change or I will maybe have to move on. I hope it doesn't come to that though since I do enjoy working there.

I went home from the bank and my pounding headache came with it. I took some aspirin and then I took a two hour nap on the couch. I woke up around 7 and forced myself to get up and buy stamps for the bills that have to go out tomorrow. On my way to the grocery store I decided to buy Chipotle for dinner...even though I had plenty of food at home. Like I said, I guess I was feeling kind of blah. I got my chipotle and as I was pulling up to our apartment my fiance called.
I'm happy to hear from him but it is kind of mixed feelings. It's really hard to explain. I mean for one thing we have never had one phone conversation where he doesn't abruptly hang up on me because he has another call. It's understandable since it is his work phone but it gets a little frustrating sometimes. I'm not trying to sound whiny though. Also, I feel like this month has given me a lot of independence and it is going to be weird not making all the decisions anymore. It won't be hard to get back to how things are but it just seems a little odd. Finally, when I've talked to him he seems to get kind of short and defensive which isn't like him at all. Maybe he is so used to ordering people around for an entire month. I don't know. I'm definitely not questioning our relationship lol and there isn't anything that I'm really worried about. He mentioned that we should start getting things ready for our legal marriage when he comes home. We are going to get married at the courthouse for paperwork reasons (POA and so that I can be contacted first if god forbid something happens to him on deployment). After deployment we will get married what I consider officially in the church. I think that he is just tired, frustrated, and wants to come home. Funny-that's all that I really want-for him to come. Four more days and things will go back to normal. Fingers crossed.

Lingerie and a Reality Check...girls only! Warning: a difficult subject is mentioned

Last night I thought about the fact that S. (fiance) will be coming home in about eight days. Then my thoughts turned a little R rated (blushes) and I thought it would be nice to get a sexy little number as a surprise for him and something fun for me. Let's face it lingerie is fun! Now, shopping for lingerie is no easy feat for me. Nothing ever fits! It's always too big on me! Ok...I'll admit it I'm pretty underweight for my height...about 30 pounds underweight...but you know what..whatever. I suffered from an eating disorder from 6th grade until the end of my junior year of college-which is when I started dating S. When I tell my friends that he changed my life it is in more ways then they can imagine. I think that because I starved myself for so many years it had a negative effect on my body..ya think? I'm not trying to make light of eating disorders. It's just once you've gotten through one you need to accept it which has taken some time, and move on and live your life.

Well I'm digressing. The point is lingerie is usually too big on me. My cup size is slightly below average-I'm a 32B. I guess that I'm extremely lucky after hurting my body for 10 years. I go to Victoria's Secret and try on stuff and usually nothing fits. Now, Fredericks of Hollywood is different. Somehow I'm always able to find something that fits me. Now granted it might not be something that I am completely in love with but it still makes me feel good about myself (Now that I need lingerie to make myself feel good-wow this post if full of disclaimers). I know that they don't have a Frederick's of Hollywood anywhere near where I live so I decided to try the online website.

I'm browsing and browsing and I decide to go with a reasonably priced outfit...and then the sales tax hits and the shipping and handling. 63 dollars I think to myself-I get paid every week I have money and it's only 63 dollars....charged to my credit card...that I'm working my darndest to pay off...but I haven't seen him in a month...yeah you know where this thought process is going. Then I started thinking about delivery. I work 8-5 and yes it's a gated apartment complex but what if its left in front of my d0or and I probably won't be home..and what if some dishonest person takes it...but people get stuff delivered all the time and they seem to get their stuff...

As you can tell I was a little conflicted. I started thinking about how people wait three days before purchasing something so that they can think on it. I didn't even need three days. I pulled up the discover card website-stared my balance straight in the face-added on what I would be paying for the lingerie, and then I promptly clicked out of the Fredericks of Hollywood website.

I don't know what I was thinking. When I just moved to NC and didn't have a job I would dream about the day when I would bring home a paycheck-any paycheck and pay off my credit card. Now I have a job and that goes out the window? I don't think so! It's time to get serious-save money and pay off this debt. I'm proud of myself for being strong. I need to get out of the I DESERVE THIS mindset.

Well if you are still reading...thanks! Sorry if some of the stuff in this post was a touchy subject but it was my life for a decade and I'm not going to make any excuses or be embarrassed about what I went through. I survived and I'm happy and healthy now. That's all that matters to me.

Putting it all out there- Part 2 -Private Loans from Sallie Mae

Loan #	Program/Lender	Status	First Disbursement Date	Current Principal Balance	Interest Rate
1-01	Signature Student Loan - UNSUB / SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR	In School	08/25/2006	$6,464.22	3.25%	Loan Transaction History
1-03	Signature Student Loan - UNSUB / SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR	In School	09/05/2007	$2,987.47	3.25%	Loan Transaction History
1-05	Signature Student Loan - UNSUB / SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR	In School	08/29/2008	$4,500.00	5.25%	Loan Transactio

1-06

Sallie Mae Smart Option Student Loan - UNSUB / SALLIE MAE BANK

Repayment

10/01/2009

$5,688.46

8.75%

TOTAL: 19, 640.15

Federal Loans+ Sallie Mae=
$31,425 +19,640.15= $51, 065.15


IT IS TIME TO START PAYING OFF THESE LOANS!

Puttting it all out there Part 1-Federal Loans...

	Type of Loan	Loan Amount	Loan Date	Disbursed Amount	Canceled Amount	Outstanding Principal	Outstanding Interest
1	DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$4,668	10/12/2010	$4,668	$0	$4,668	$0
2	DIRECT STAFFORD UNSUBSIDIZED	$2,832	10/12/2010	$2,832	$0	$2,832	$132
3	DIRECT STAFFORD UNSUBSIDIZED	$2,000	09/07/2009	$2,000	$0	$2,000	$204
4	DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$5,500	09/07/2009	$5,500	$0	$5,500	$0
5	DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$1,000	04/06/2009	$1,000	$0	$1,000	$0
6	DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$1,877	04/06/2009	$1,877	$0	$1,877	$0
7	DIRECT STAFFORD UNSUBSIDIZED	$2,000	09/09/2008	$2,000	$0	$2,000	$210
8	DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$2,623	09/09/2008	$2,623	$0	$2,623	$0
9	FEDERAL PERKINS	$1,800	07/19/2007	$1,800	$0	$1,800	$0
10	STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$4,500	07/12/2007	$4,500	$0	$4,500	$0
11	STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED	$2,625	07/13/2006	$2,625	$0	$2,625	$0
Total DIRECT STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED						$15,668	$0
Total DIRECT STAFFORD UNSUBSIDIZED						$6,832	$546
Total FEDERAL PERKINS						$1,800	$0
Total STAFFORD SUBSIDIZED						$7,125	$0
Total All Loans						$31,425	$546

Waiting for the Pizza Delivery Person (See...I don't discriminate)

Nope. There is no story behind the title of this post. I placed an order from papajohns.com online and now I'm waiting patiently for my large grilled chicken and extra cheese pizza. I'm a little excited for it. Just a little. Coming from Chicago it is almost embarrassing for me to order Papa John's. However, it is kind of slim pickings for Pizza places in the south. Well maybe that is my uneducated opinion of the South's pizza situation. Let's just say that in Fayetteville, NC, there aren't too many choices. We will leave it at that.

This week has gone by pretty quickly. Work went well and the time seemed to fly by. On Friday I received my first pay check in North Carolina. The total was 179.52 after taxes. Granted, it was very small since I get paid nine dollars an hour and only worked 21 hours that week. I work full time but I actually started work on a Wednesday for my first day. This week I worked the full forty hours. I know 9 dollars an hour isn't a lot right now but at least it is a start in the right direction. I get paid every Friday not every other Friday. Besides...I was lucky if I worked 20-30 hours every TWO weeks at 8.25 an hour. I am actually extremely grateful for this job. It makes me so excited to know that I will be able to pay my student loans, my credit card bill, and contribute to the household. I'm going to wait a month to see how much I will make for a month, and then I will create a budget for that! I'm very excited to make my first budget ever!! Yep...you heard that correctly. Oops!

I really need to resist the urge to go and spend my money on more clothes...redecorating the apartment (Trust me-it's a complete mancave right now.,etc. I just don't really feel like I'm a part of this apartment yet besides my books on the bookshelves and my clothes in the closet and the dresser. I didn't really bring any personal touches to the apartment when I moved in. I'm hoping that I can change that slowly in bits and pieces. My fiance has already given me full permission to change the place to my liking. I'm planning on creating a part of my budget to reflect decorating. I think this is a good idea since I don't even really have a clue as to how to decorate the place or what I want to do with it. It will definitely be a work in progress.

I really want to come up with a name to call my fiance instead of just "the fiance." It makes it seem almost like I'm apathetic towards him and that cannot be farther from the truth. He is the best thing that ever happened to me if that doesn't sound too corny. I'm going to put some thought into it and let you know soon (if anyone reads this ) :) Enjoy the rest of your Saturday! Have a great night!

Receipt strategy and 4 days and I already got a key.

I’ve been working at the Firm for 4 days and they have already givenme (a temp worker) a key to front door of the office. I must be doing something right so far. Last night I mentioned that I had a receipt strategy. Confused? Well of course you are if you have no idea what I am talking about. Alright so I’ve gone to the store twice in two weeks- a standard once a week shopping extravaganza. My fiancé is still on his short deployment training thing in California. Let’s just say that food lasts a LOT longer when it is just me. A LOT . Ok I think you get the point. Anyway, going back to my college days I had a tendency to buy a ton of food and forget about it. Some would remain in the cabinets for months and I would just buy new food. Wow that came off as a me being hoarder-which I totally am not. Most of the food was crackers, soup, macaroni and cheese, you know, the kind of food that can stay in the cabinet for months lol. Anyway, I’ve decided that I really want to start eating what I have before I go out for more food and spend money that I didn’t need to. So how did I decide to do this? Simple. I keep my receipts from the stores. Once I have eaten an item completely for instance-a bag of bagels or a block of cheddar cheese, I highlight the item on the receipt . Yes, you read that correctly. I highlight my receipt from the store. It’s kind of interesting to see what I have eaten during the week and what I have left over. I also know what I need to buy more of, or what I shouldn’t buy anymore since I haven’t touched the item so clearly I’m not that interested in eating it. Maybe this is just me being OCD but it has really helped me so far with not wasting food.

Well that is pretty much all that I have to report. I worked from 8am-5p.m. I dropped off some packages for work at Fedex box. I got home and paid the Verizon bill and Helzberg bill (I’m paying my fiance’s bills while he is in Cali-but he already signed the checks from his account. I’m just filling in the numbers and putting them in the mail lol. I did two loads of laundry, worked out at the gym in the apartment complex (can’t beat free-and the gym is EXTREMELY nice as far as apartment complex gyms go. Then I came home, showered, (in case you were wondering lol) and had spaghetti for dinner. I topped off the night with a little bit of coffee icecream. Well that’s about it.

Time for bed! I can’t wait until Friday to get my first paycheck from work :) ALSO totally random and not previously mentioned in the blog but I thought I lost my fiances' garmin-or that it had fallen out of the truck-but I found it today! I was already researching the prices for a new one online. I spent the past two weeks freaking out about it. It was exactly where I thought it would be. I just did panic searching last time-aka tear apart the car frantically looking for it to no avail...even though it was right in front of my face all along.

Carrot sticks, hummus, and my week in review

I find it funny that I get upset when some of my favorite personal finance blogs that I like to read don’t get updated on a day to day basis. Then I look at my blog and I feel ashamed. I don’t know what it is about not updating. I LOVE to talk about myself on a day to day basis with others. Ok, that came off a little narcissistic. What I meant to say is that I am pretty much an open book with my life and I don’t have too many topics that I keep off limits from others. Now with that being said I am going to make it my goal to bring more of myself into this blog. One of the things that I love about the PF blogworld is the absolute openness that people share with complete strangers. I can’t really think of another situation (unless it was your husband/fiancé /boyfriend or best friend) where you would discuss the nitty gritty details of personal finance. I love reading about other people’s lives and day to day updates. Hopefully my blog can one day reflect that.

Alright now let’s see I last left off on Tuesday. I’m going to do a quick update for the rest of the week and then we will be fresh to start again tonight (Monday night).

Wednesday-First day on the job. I woke up early, got ready, made my coffee (which was a story in itself) made my lunch (my lunch breaks are in-office so I can be there to answer the phones) and then I was on my way. Work went well that day. I learned a little bit about the office and by the end of the day I was already creating new files for contracts for clients. I went home and worked out at the gym at the clubhouse (apartment complex’s gym) and then made rice for dinner. I definitely need to add a protein with my dinner next time if I’m working out.

Thursday-Thursday was extremely similar to Wednesday. Work from 8-5. I got home and made dinner. I had a very low key night. I didn’t end up working out.

Friday-Work from 8-12-(We close at noon on Fridays). After work I dropped off my hours at the employment agency. I rewarded myself with a chicken burrito from Chipotle for lunch since it was my first week of work. Total cost: 6.85. I went home and enjoyed my burrito, drank a beer (because I’m 23 and I could lol) and watched some tv. I got a text from my apartment complex friend asking if I wanted to go to a wine tasting with her that night at 6. The wine tasting was Austrian wine…very interesting. It was the first time that I drank wine without getting a pounding headache. I purchased a bottle of beck bergenlund for around 20 dollars. I have to look at the receipt. After that my friend treated me to frozen yogurt since I drove. Don’t worry-we waited about 2 hours before I drove home and we probably drank the equivalent of one glass of wine with all the samplings combined. Drinking and driving is not something that I take lightly, seeing as my aunt passed away from a drunk driver. I went home that night and watched a bit of tv and called it a night.

Saturday-LAZY Day! I didn’t do anything for most of the day-just bummed around the house. I went to the store around 8 at night and spent 104.00 in groceries and cleaning supplies. I saved 25 dollars with the store card and coupons that I had clipped.

Sunday-Went to church and went to the mall and purchased a couple of shirts that I was in desperate need of for work. I made banana nut muffins to have for breakfast- and I cut up carrots into carrot sticks to go with the vegetable dip that I purchased. I just need to toast my bagel in the morning and make my bagel sandwich for lunch. I also purchased hummus and pita chips but I think that I will bring some of those on a different day.

Alright-I need to be up in a couple of hours so I’m calling it a night. Tomorrow I will tell you about my receipt strategy when it comes to my food. Lol. I guess its just my OCD showing through! I will also list prices for my clothes and maybe some pictures of my new shirts if you are interested. :)

I GOT A JOB!!

Just a very quick post to say that I got a job! I got a call for an interview this morning and the interview was at 1 p.m. That was definitely a little nerve wracking because I had absolutely no time to prepare. I was running around like a crazy person this morning. I had to run to kinkos to print out my references (which I didn't end up handing out) and the machines didn't want to work for me. And last night I had agreed to let my neighbor's dogs out at 1 pm since I didn't think that I would have anything going on today. lol. So I let the dog out early and got ready and drove to the interview feeling totally unprepared.

I got to the interview early-like half an hour early. I was like ok no problem- I'll just sit in the six car parking lot try not to look suspicious and go in at ten to 1. Except....one of the workers saw me sitting in my car and asked if I was there for the interview. I said yes but that I was early since I didn't realize it wouldn't take long to get there. So then I had to struggle between do I stay in the car and look awkward but go in at an appropriate time-but then they might be wondering why I'm sitting in the car-or do I go in early and do the awkward 30 minutes early wait. Well the downpour of rain that just started made the decision for me. I went in early. Turns out everything worked out in the end. By the end of the interview I had already been given the job and told that they just had to contact my employment agency. When I got home the agency called me to come in and fill out some paperwork and do a drug test. Everything went well and now I start tomorrow at 9 a.m. It's a temp to hire job and it only starts at 9 dollars an hour but its full time- I'll be working 5 days a week and on Fridays I get a half day. I'm just sooooooooo happy right now. I get to work on paying off my credit card, pay my student loans once they start in a couple of months, start budgeting, start saving for my wedding, and best of all SHOPPING! Not crazy shopping but it has been over a year since I have been shopping for new clothes besides some clothes for my internship that I had and bridesmaid dresses. I'm definitely ready to pick up a few staple items to enhance my wardrobe but I'm going to save and budget for it. Nothing is going on my credit card. I want to pay it off within 4 months.

Let's see what happens! I'm just so happy!

Goodbye to one-hello to another.

Well for some reason blogger isn't allowing me to respond to my own comments on my own blog. Weird. Thank you Mrs. M for your nice comment. Unfortunately I didn't get the bankruptcy processor position, but I'm kind of ok with it. In the meantime, I got a call from a staffing agency here in town. I went to the agency and took a couple of tests. They applied to two law firm jobs that are temp to hire on my behalf. I called back on Friday but since it's Labor day weekend they didn't hear anything back from any of the firms yet. I have to call back in a couple of days after the holidays.

In other news my fiance is gone for a month and I am going to have little to possibly no contact with him. No text messages, no facebook, MAYBE a phone call or two. So far I haven't had a chance to fall apart and cry myself into oblivion. lol. His best friend is actually getting stationed at the same base that my fiance is at so he is couch surfing for a couple of days until he secures an apartment. It's kind of funny that on the same day that my fiance leaves his friend comes to stay.

I'll be honest I felt really safe knowing that his friend was in the living room sleeping on the couch. I wasn't like "oh no-what if someone breaks in or something. We have several guns in this apartment (not my choice) but I dont even like looking at them let alone touching them. So it was nice to be able to go to bed on the first night that he was gone and not worry. I'm probably going to be scared senseless once his friends leaves in a couple of days.

My goal is to try and keep myself busy. Tonight I'm going with the girl that I know at the apartment complex to see her friend's band an hour away. I have no idea what kind of music it is, but it's better than sitting at home by myself. (Fiance's friend went to the "city" for the night. I say city because coming from Chicago I find it hard to call it a big city lol.

I went grocery shopping for both of us today and managed to save some money with coupons and store card. YAY! Once the friend leaves I think I might try to expand my couponing skills. We'll see though because I don't eat a lot of food and I don't want to spend money on food that I won't end up eating. For any couponers out there-have manufacturer's changed the rules now that many people have gotten onto the extreme couponing bandwagon? Have you noticed changes in store policy? I'd be interested in finding it!