Does being borderline OCD cost you more money?

Ok...I'm going to say borderline because I'm not really that OCD. I have no fear of germs. I don't feel like I need to complete tasks over and over again, like flip a switch on and off ten times in a row, or feel like something bad will happen to me or my loved ones if I don't complete a task. I'm not diagnosed as OCD. I don't take any form of medication, and I have never had any therapy regarding OCD. Also, I don't intend to insult anyone who may suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or know someone that does.

However, I do have slight OCD tendencies. I triple check to make sure doors are locked, curling irons turned off, know where my phone is at all times, and confirm about ten different times in an hour that I do, in fact, still have my Chicago CTA pass on me, etc. It's so bad when it comes to doors that in college I had times when I was almost at the bus stop a block away, and I had to turn around and go back and make sure it was locked. I almost went to the point of developing a system like marking my hand with a highlighter or something after locking the door so that I could indeed, accept that I had locked the door.

However, I do know where the door locking obsession stems from. Once in my junior year of college, I accidentally left my keys in the front door of my apartment all night long. One of my room mates flipped a shit. Sorry for the language. She had every right to, but it was an honest mistake, and thank god nothing got stolen, and no one broke in. She was also a horror to live with even prior to the door locking incident.

She freaked out when I washed dishes in the dishwasher and there was food that got stuck to the plates. I had grown up where you could pretty much put a plate that had food stuck onto it into the dishwasher and come out with a sparkling clean plate. I had just never used a dishwasher that well-didn't work that great. She was really a nightmare to live with though for other reasons, and I'd actually start to panic/feel sick to my stomach when I would hear her keys in the door. Well at least that's all in the past now.

Anyway, so the door thing makes sense to me. I've gotten a lot better with it now that I'm living at home while I finish up my certificate program. There's pretty much always someone home when I leave so I don't have to really worry about locking the door.

So how does being borderline OCD cost money? Get to the point you say?-well here it is.

Mostly it happens with school. I panic if I have to print out a paper at school and don't have a stapler or a paper clip. I actually carry a stapler and a bag of staples with me. There's been countless times when I've gone into Walgreens to buy a stapler if I had forgotten one because I get close to a panic attack when I think that I'm not prepared for something.

Case in point.

Yesterday, I went downtown when I didn't have school because I needed to turn in some paperwork at the firm that I will be interning at. Ok-no problem. I had filled out the paperwork the previous day and I grabbed a file folder and put the paperwork in it. I was about to head off to the firm. Then I started to think...should I put this in a manila envelope? I don't have one with me. Will a file folder be ok? But it won't look professional? And I have my social security number written down? But it's not like someone at the firm is going to steal my identity...This followed with imagining that someone had actually stolen my identity. Then I thought-well the university office probably has envelopes. I could get one there. I chickened out though. I felt guilty for going to the office once when I needed to staple something. One staple and I was nervous that time.

Sigh. I think I'm the exact opposite of PF bloggers sometimes-because I hate getting free stuff. Correction-I find it incredibly awkward to go to a table at a job fair and take a pen, piece of candy, etc. I usually decline free samples from stores. In the odd chance that a classmate brings something for the class to eat I always turn it down .Which I realize, is not rational behavior but...well I'm weird.

Don't get me wrong. I love free stuff from the internet, free gift cards from Swagbucks, free money from surveys, it's just the person to person thing that is awkward. And I've worked at places where I am the one giving away the free stuff so it's not like I judge people for taking free stuff or anything-I'm happy when they do. I also love giving stuff away, baking for people, buying them candy, and I don't want/expect anything in return.

Anyway, I digress. So I decided that I wouldn't go to the office and get a free envelope which I'm sure they wouldn't have minded giving to me. I went to Walgreens and lo and behold-they didn't have a simple manila envelope-all that they had were file folders (not helpful) and bubble envelopes for mailing things. Luck has it that there is a Staples a block down from the Walgreens. I set off and find my prize-manila envelopes at Staples. In a pack of 10-for 4.99. FML. I still bought it though since I was so worried about the presentation of my paperwork, identity getting stolen :p , etc.

Next came my other dilemma. I still had to fill out the envelope. Could I have asked Staples if they minded if I filled out an envelope really quickly at their store? Yes. Did I? no. Could I have waited until I got to the lawfirm and filled out the envelope in the lobby? Yes. Did I? No. I thought " What if someone from the firm comes in and sees me? That would be awful!"

What did I do? I went to the Starbucks that I go to everyday when I'm downtown for school, but I hadn't planned on visiting that day. I sat at a table for less than a minute, filled out the envelope, and then I bought a tall hot chocolate because I felt guilty for using the space and not purchasing anything. Then I left to go to the firm. The very same Starbucks where they all know me by my name! WTF is wrong with me! Was I so scared that they would be mad that I wasn't ordering anything, even though I've spent hundreds of dollars at that Starbucks this year?

Well it all worked out in the end. I turned in the paper work in the beautiful manila envelope and met with my internship coordinator at school. But seriously...my actions were kind of, if not very ridiculous.

I think that I need to start taking the mentality of "Ask and you shall receive" or even just "Try asking before spending 3 dollars on hot chocolate and 5 dollars on manila envelopes!"

Am I the only crazy person out there or is anyone else ever scared/embarrassed to ask for free things? It can be anything from a staple to lower interest rates. I'd love to hear from you!