Well it has been almost 5 months since my husband has been gone. Time flies I suppose. Jointly our financial situation is fantastic. We have saved a TON of money for the wedding that we are having when he returns from deployment. On an individual level-it's another story. Some background-we have a joint account and all of the money that he makes goes into it. I basically have just been using it to pay all of the bills we get monthly and usually groceries as well, although I am horrible with actually going to the store-so I usually only go once a month or so and do a big stock up on groceries. I have a bank account with a different bank and right now I'm the only authorized user on it, although I would have no qualms with adding him onto it. My paychecks from work go in there. I use that money to pay my student loans, credit card bill, and any needs/ wants/ and going out with friends during the month. I have a hard time with spending my husband's money because 1) it is only benefiting me and 2) we are saving up for the wedding. Also, I have been footing the bill on a lot of expenses like care packages and items that my husband needs/wants over there. I also got put in charge of his FRG and we don't have a treasurer so guess who has been footing the bill on everything for the organization. I have probably already spent over 300-400 dollars on the group. Don't worry I'm keeping the receipts to hopefully get reimbursed. Anyway, long story short-I have racked up my credit card debt to a lot higher than what it was when my husband left. As our finances are still kind of separate he has never asked to see my credit card bill as I am the one that pays it. At one point last year I had it down to 700 dollars and then Christmas came, and then the care packages started, etc. etc. etc. But I'm not here to make excuses. I have almost 4,000.00 on my card but yet I was having trouble with stopping the spending. I do know that I have been shopping more (consignment or not) it is still shopping and it is still spending money that I could be putting towards paying off my credit card. So I decided to take the first step by taking my credit card out of my wallet. I am banning myself from using my card. Hopefully I will have the self control that it takes.
Hopefully this is a step in the right direction. I have to realize that as a military wife we can be told that our husband has to pick up and move at any moment. That means losing my job and having to look for another. Meanwhile the student loans would still need to be paid as well as my credit card. I don't know how I would be able to allow my husband to pay those bills for me. If anything I want to have more money in savings to be safe. My husband has 500 of debt to his name. I have over 50,000 with my student loans and my 4,000 in credit card debt. I need my ass kicked into getting into financial shape.
I can imagine it would be hard to be home, and the temptation to shop would be even greater when you're alone. Two thoughts: I would be honest with your husband about the debt, you two are partners, so he really should know. Second, I think when you are sending him a package of something he's asked you to get it's okay to use money from his check to get it. I would be open about it, telling him you are working on paying off debts, but I think it's okay to use it. Hang in there!
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